Here’s a very humble hello from me this Monday morning. How have you all been?
I did a ton of thinking over the last weekend and I think I finally nailed down why blogging has been so hard for me this last month.
I’m not being completely honest with you!
this is my ‘please forgive me’ face.
This blog is about how I create my own version of healthy living. I don’t really follow the rules, and I don’t really do what everyone else is doing. But this blog is also a journal. I write about what’s going on in my life and how it makes me feel. I don’t know if you realize it, but I’m pretty honest with y’all and I don’t hold too much back.
My (ex) boyfriend cheated on me. It was a long time ago. We’ve been dating for almost 6 years and this happened 4 years ago. He told me because he needed to come clean so our relationship could potentially move forward.
I’ve been having a really hard time with it. I understand that this happened a long time ago and that our relationship is in a different place now than it was then. But he just told me so it feels like it just happened.
I kinda had my life planned. I’d chosen him and I was sort of keeping my own life on hold so he could do what he wanted to do. I’m not trying to build a big career here in Salinas and I figured we’d be getting married pretty soon so I wasn’t trying to move out of my parents house because I thought it would just complicate the process that was bound to be starting soon.
He wants to do more school and I don’t think he’s happy with his job in Monterey. I wanted him to be able to change all those things and go to school in Oregon, North Carolina, Texas… wherever. So, I’d chosen him and I was just going to make all the other stuff work around that. Now that we’re not together and might not ever be together (I don’t know, the jury’s still out) I’m kinda stuck in a life that I’m not 100% happy with.
It’s all a lot to process and figure out. I didn’t think that the 6 years I spent dating him would ever end at this point. It’s kinda cray cray.
By the way: I went to Starbucks this morning and saw that hey had a Thanksgiving Blend dark roast coffee.
I had to try it!
I didn’t know how much I liked it after the first sip… It’s pretty darn herby.
So I tried it again and this happened…
But after a third sip I decided I actually liked it and the herby-ness mixed with the soy milk was a jim-dandy combo.
So thanks for sticking with me through everything. Your emails wondering where I was and telling me to have a good day were exactly what I needed and I couldn’t have asked for better blog friends/readers. Friends first, readers second! :mrgreen:
Hopefully now that I’m being a little more honest I’ll have some more blog posts coming. It felt weird writing about my strange eats when I wasn’t talking about how lost/confused/hurt/sad I am. I literally ate herby mashed potatoes for dinner every night last week… Without the backstory that’s just weird. ;-)